How many Moms can actually say that their child’s birth went exactly as planned? Not too many. I mean, I know they are out there. I’ve even meet a couple of those Moms. But for the most part, our birth stories include having to divert from our birth plan either slightly or completely. I’m in the latter category.
I spent my whole pregnancy with my first daughter dreaming of how amazing her birth was going to be. I wrote out a detailed birth plan and was excited to have my husband, Mom and MIL in the delivery room with me. As I got closer to my due date and went over my birth plan with my doctor, she told me, (as did many other people along the way) “Don’t be too set on this plan. We will try our best to make all of this happen for you, but sometimes it is out of our control.” I remember telling her that I understood and of course at the end of the day I wanted whatever was best for my baby. However, I was confident that my daughter’s birth would go the way I had planned for the past 9 months. Actually, it’s really 10 months isn’t it!
My daughter was measuring big throughout my entire pregnancy so I was prepared to have a big baby. (I’m 5’10” and my husband is 6’4″, no surprise there). My doctor knew that I wanted a natural birth and really didn’t want to have a C-section. At my last appointment, she decided to induce labor to try to ensure that I wouldn’t have to have one. The next day my husband and I went to the hospital, excited and ready to start the process. When we got there, I was told that I was going to have a final ultrasound to make sure everything looked good before being induced. The ultrasound was longer than usual and the technician was very quite the entire time. I could see the baby moving around and her heartbeat looked good. But as soon as she told me that she was going to send the results to my doctor and to wait in the lobby, I knew something wasn’t right.
As I sat in the lobby holding my husband’s hand, I kept telling him, “I know something’s wrong. I don’t want to have a C-section.” After what felt like an eternity, a women came out and said, “Kristin, we have your doctor on the phone, she’d like to speak with you.” My heart sank. I looked at my husband feeling tears began to swell up. He told me that everything was going to be OK and gave me a kiss. When I got on the phone, my doctor told me that she was concerned with the ultrasound. My daughter was measuring over 9 pounds and the cord was wrapped around her neck a few times. She wasn’t currently in distress, but once I went into labor there was a good chance that things would change. I felt a huge lump form in my throat. My doctor then told me that we needed to do a C-section to ensure a safe delivery for the baby. Warm tears began to run down my cheeks. “Kristin…Kristin are you OK with this?” Somehow I managed to muster up the words, “Yes, whatever’s best for the baby.” She tried to reassure me that everything was going to be OK, but I was heartbroken.
I slowly made my way back to my husband in a state of shock. How could this be happening? I followed all the rules, I read all the books, my birth plan was set. I wanted to have a natural birth. I wanted to experience the contractions, the pushing, everything that goes along with giving birth to a child the way it was intended to happen. I felt like I was being cheated out of this amazing experience. I felt like less of a mother and my child wasn’t even born yet. What was supposed to be an exciting time turned into a devastating one. As soon as my husband saw me, he knew. He held me in his arms and I began to sob. I cried for hours.
My husband and parents were an amazing support. They were eventually able to bring me out of a state of shock and sadness, to a happier place where I was OK with having a C-section. I knew deep down that this is what was best for my baby, and getting her out safe was all that mattered at that point. When the nurse came in to give me my surgery gown I had so many emotions running through me, but I was ready.
Right before the C-section
My baby girl was born safe and healthy, weighing 8lbs 11oz and was 21 inches tall. She didn’t end up being as big as they had originally thought but the cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and it was tight. This was the right thing to do. As hard as it was to have my birth plan change last minute, it was worth it to deliver my baby without any complications.
Meeting my sweet girl for the first time and 1 day old
To this day it is still a bit difficult for me when the topic of birth stories gets brought up. I wish I could have been able to experience giving birth the natural way. I had a detailed birth plan and it all went out the window in a matter of minutes. But no matter how my daughter came into this world, I sure am glad she’s here!
Did you have a birth plan? Were you able to use it or did it go out the window? Tell us your story below.
Live, Laugh, Love,