I am so over the mom wars! All the judging, the mom shaming and the self-righteous unsolicited advice. We are all on the same team! We should be cheering each other on, supporting each other and being compassionate to our fellow moms. Not tearing each other down because we have different parenting styles. I mean really, like we don’t already have enough on our plates. We also have to worry (or not) about another Mom’s opinion of how we are raising our children? I don’t think so! Nobody’s got time for that, especially a MOM!
I will be the first to admit that I have judged other moms in my time. Before I became a mom I was constantly judging. (I’m sorry to every mom I gave a look to at a store or restaurant when they had a crying baby/toddler.) Even in the beginning stages with my first daughter, I found myself comparing my situation to other moms around me. Now, as a mom of two, a mom who has not always had an easy time and a mom who has some amazing friends with different parenting styles; I try hard, very hard not to judge but to understand. It’s not always easy but I have learned to keep my thoughts to myself when others start mom bashing. Through interacting with many Mom’s who have different backgrounds and social statures I’ve learned a few things…
1) There is not one right answer for every parenting situation. What works well for your kids is not going to work for everyone. It’s one thing to suggest trying something that has worked well for you but when moms start shamming others for not being able to get the same results, that’s when I have a problem!
2) Don’t feel guilty about the decisions you make for your family. No one knows your sacrifices, your struggles or your success’ like you do. You are doing what you feel is best for your family so follow your gut and be confident in your decisions.
3) In a time when bullying is a huge problem amongst our youth, how can you expect not to raise a bully if you are constantly judging other moms or mom shaming? Kids are very observant and take in a lot more than we realize. So choose your words wisely, especially when it comes to bashing another mom.
4) Don’t ever question, even for a minute if you’re mom enough. Because you are! It doesn’t matter if you breastfeed, formula fed, are a stay at home or working mom. As long as you make sure that your children are loved and cared for, then YOU are mom enough!
5) There is no winner in the game of mom wars!
At the end of the day we all want the same thing. We want to raise loving, happy, confident, well-adjusted human beings. So let’s try to be more understanding and less judgmental. Let’s help build each other up and support one another. Please, from one mom to another, get off your high horse and stop the mom wars!